OPINION: When I Rule, Confessions of a Future "Tyrant"

My name is James McGee 9th Grade, aspiring to be a future politician. This is my essay for our ELA unit. This is indeed my very own opinion on power, righteousness, and politics. Ultimately, my goal is to make the world the best condition possible. 

First of all, it is important to address the fact that our world is far from perfect. Earth is fractured and has never been as divided as it is now. Poverty still rages across the world, abandoning millions that have built our capitalist society. By listening to others and valuing their opinion, we can strive to become a more equal society. 

In this essay, I wish to rewrite the rules and fight for what I believe is right for not only our country but our world as a whole. Sometimes, the best way to do things is to do them yourself or not do them at all. Some things I will write here will be controversial, but I promise they have roots in logic. 

Our country sits on large amounts of oil deposits. I will frack the earth of all its riches until it is no more than an old grandma, abandoned at the local elderly care center by her ungrateful children. Then, my associates and I will gatekeep this resource, only for the megacorporations that are willing to finance our new re-election campaign. You see, whenever you do something in politics, it must always have a way to come back and benefit you in a positive light. I will hire reputable journalists to write about how great I am, and how much I am doing for the undeserving.

I will have the likes of Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson pump out lecture after lecture filled with utter insanity, so much so that only the most devoted and brainwashed supremacists could extract meaning. These mentally ill influences who clearly need psychiatric help because of their insecurities will be how I win my new election. Speaking of the election, the swine I will have to run against will not stand a chance. I will spin lies upon lies upon lies until they scale so high that Mount Everest is dwarfed by my ego. My populist politics and machismo will reel in millions of young men that the left has disregarded in favor of women’s rights. Their wives and indoctrinated children will follow. How stupid of the swine! They didn’t know they could have both men and women supporting them. I will be friends with tech billionaires and scandalous public servants because that is where the money is, and that is all I care about. Politics is about money and money is about politics. If dollar bills are not detected within a five-kilometer radius, I am not walking close to that place. I love money. It’s what separates me from the undeserving and all the uneducated hobos who do drugs and drink alcohol for days and days on end. With bills, I can buy mansions, I can impregnate prostitutes, and then pay them money to go raise our bastard child. I can hire an army of lawyers to deflect and debase any cases against the women I have groped, the families I have destroyed and the cities my administration has neglected. 

The undeserved, uneducated, and indoctrinated will be happy that I am their leader because I was the one to say the most things. It doesn’t truly matter what I say, they are happy with the fact that I am doing something. No matter what I do, my voters will back me up. 

Why? Because I am their god. 

I was there when they lost their wife. I was there when they were fired from their job. I was the first to pin the blame for something we as a society are at fault for. When you are someone’s god, they follow you until they die. Logic and reason do not matter to them, because I embody logic and reason. To the current, I am eternal. 

I will pass bills to infringe on abortion rights, I will break down laws designed for equality so that my rich friends can reap the benefits. And for even more money, I will write a memoir. 

A ghostwriter will be hired. Unaware of my Ivy-league background, he will write a heroic and humbling story of how a middle-class car salesman transformed himself into a political powerhouse, a kingmaker. The memoir will contain my populist lies, while also destroying and labeling the opposition as nothing more than servants of the devil on earth. I would like the cover to be a portrait of my face in black and white, the colors I wish to seperate in neighbourhoods. The good old days are gone, and it is to my liking that we restore the age of glory. 

When protests erupt from the things I have said and done, I will militarize the police with rubber bullets and water canons. I will personally deploy tear gas because I love the tears of my opponents. They deserve to cry because they were stupid enough to join the wrong side of history. This is my story, my life, my world. Law enforcement will keep beating and harassing marginalized protesters and will allow my supporters to mercilessly execute the swine, with no problem at all. The opposition will be nothing but teeth and bones when my purge is over. Just so quickly as the current gains consciousness, I beat them down and kill whoever was smart enough to dare to fight against my administration. I will threaten their wives and children with guns to their heads. And for they have weak hearts, the animals will bow down to me and lick my shoes. 

When I am done, the world will be much better. The undeserving get what they deserve, and my friends and my administration profit off the riches we plundered from the poor earth.